I spent last Mother’s Day feeling very empty. It had only been three months since we had lost Audrey— the pain was still fresh and all-consuming. I didn’t know how to approach the day because in my heart I knew I was a mother, but with no baby to care for, I didn’t feel like [...]
Today is Audrey's first birthday, a day full of sorrow and celebration. I decided to write an open letter to Audrey and I hope it can encourage others to know that light can be found in the darkness and out of our deepest darkest pains there can come joy. Happy first birthday Audrey! I can’t [...]
We recently had the joy of announcing that Justin and I are expecting our second child. The news of this baby comes with so much excitement, joy, and hope; but at the same time, it is accompanied by both fear and guilt. When I first learned that I was pregnant, after a wave of joy [...]
The tears once again poured from my eyes and my heart ached. This was something I wish no parent would have to do, yet here we were. However, as we let go of the last piece of Audrey’s physical existence on this earth, somehow it felt right. We were officially giving her up to God. [...]
I’ve noticed that the tears come a lot easier these days. Six months now since I held Audrey for the first (and final) time, and though I would say I am doing very well (Emily and I both are, praise God!), there are (and probably always will be) small unsuspecting triggers that can randomly give [...]
5Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion. 6 As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. Psalm 84:5-6 A little over a month ago I came across this verse. As I [...]
Today Audrey would have been 4-months-old. I was privileged to meet and hold my 6-month-old baby niece and my 8-month-old baby cousin for the first time this week. Both baby girls are barely more than a couple pounds bigger than Audrey was at birth. It makes me wonder what Audrey would have been like today. [...]
To understand the full measure of God’s sovereign plan and the amazing blessing that Audrey was, we need to start at the beginning. In May of 2017 I found out I was pregnant. When I told Justin we celebrated and rejoiced together, full of joy and excitement. Before we knew if we were having a [...]