We have been blessed with the arrival of our second daughter, Story Reh Davis. We have been filled with so much joy as we settle into life with her. This blog is still for the purpose of writing about our journey of grief in losing Audrey, but my pregnancy with Story and her birth have been huge milestones and lessons in our journey.
Many might think Story has a less than conventional name, especially her middle name. However, we whole-heartedly believe her name was given to us by God.
After we lost Audrey and we shared her story online we got an outpouring of feedback from family, friends, and even complete strangers. People told us how reading Audrey’s story helped them with their own journey of loss, their battle with infertility, and even one girl shared how it helped her come out of a season of depression. We were amazed by what God was doing through us sharing Audrey’s story. We simply posted it so our friends and family could understand what had happened and see how we were doing. We had no idea the plan that God had in using it.
Shortly after we started to hear all of these encouraging stories, I started to think about the importance of the stories that God has given to each of us. God gives us each an individual story and there is power within those stories. When we share our stories God can use us in such beautiful ways. We can encourage others by helping them know that they are not alone. Sharing our stories can also bring glory to the one who gave them to us.
As I sat and thought about the power of a story and the importance of sharing that story, I knew that if I had another daughter, I would name her Story. I wanted a reminder of the lessons we had learned in this pivotal season in our lives and I wanted my future daughter to know those lessons too. At that time though, Justin and I hadn’t even talked about trying to have another baby, so I kept the idea of the name to myself, unsure of the future God had planned for us.
Skip ahead a few more months, Justin and I not only talked about trying to have another baby but were already trying— and I was scared.
After losing Audrey I was so aware that nothing in life is certain, that God can have such a different plan than our own. I was frightened that maybe Audrey was special, and we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again, or if I did get pregnant that we might lose another baby. I couldn’t help but wonder that maybe her death was God’s way of saying we wouldn’t have children.
I was riddled with fear. But one morning as I sat and read my Bible, I read the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22. Here is a quick summary of the story:
Though Abraham and his wife Sarah were barren in their old age, God promised to bless them with a child. Years later, He followed through on that promise and blessed them with a son, whom they named Isaac. However, when Isaac grew a little older, God told Abraham to take his son and sacrifice him as a burnt offering. Abraham faithfully obeyed the LORD, taking Isaac up a mountain and building an altar. But as Abraham laid Isaac on the altar in preparation to slay his son, God called out from heaven for him to stop; and in that moment, a ram emerged from the thicket. Abraham then took that ram and sacrificed it as the burnt offering instead of his son. Because the LORD provided this ram to take the place of his son, Abraham called that place on the mountain, “The LORD will provide.”
The LORD will provide.
In that moment as I read those words, God spoke to me and said, “I am going to provide for you too.”
Immediately the fear I was feeling was lifted, a peace washed over me, and I knew that everything would be okay. Little did I know that at that point I was already two weeks pregnant.
I decided to look up what “The LORD will provide” was in the original translation and found it is Jehovah Jireh (yeh·hō·vä’ yir·eh’). Once I saw the word “Jireh,” I knew that we would have a daughter and her first name would be Story and her middle name would be Reh (pronounced “ray”, from yir·eh’) so that we would always remember that we serve a God who provides.
But I do want to give a disclaimer that just as how God has a different plan than our own, He also provides for us differently than we think He would. In this instance He told me it would be another daughter but for some people that might not be the case.
When we were losing Audrey, we prayed that God would provide for us and save her. Instead, He provided for us an opportunity to come closer to Him and to glorify Him. He then later provided for us what we had been asking for with Audrey— a healthy baby girl.
We have been blessed beyond measure to now have two daughters. We will tell Story of her older sister, Audrey, and how God provided for us not only in bringing us Story herself, but also bringing us comfort when we were suffering, truth when we were tempted by lies, and hope when it seemed all was lost. We will tell of how God gave us a story, which to the world looks like we had so much taken away, but with God, we know we have been provided for. And now God has given us another Story to remind us of His constant, amazing, loving provision.
This is our Story, this is our song:
Praising our Savior all the day long.
With Love, Emily